Wacky Wednesday – I am not Martha Crocker

Since this blog sat on my to do list for a while as I was busy living this life and journey, I’ve started out writing about the past. Most of it is pretty ugly. Breast Cancer isn’t really very funny. Parenthood, however, I will admit can be really really funny. And I do try to laugh at myself as often as possible. When you combine That Girl, That Guy, and My Girls, you get a pretty Wacky life. When I was a child, probably when I was learning to read, one of my favorite books was “Wacky Wednesday” by Dr. Seuss. Since we constantly talk about how wacky my oldest is, my Wednesday posts will be sharing what I think are pretty Wacky stories, quotes, and silliness from our lives. Enjoy!

The title of the post is in honor of my college roommate, who is likely going to be ashamed of me when she reads this story!

Sometime in the last few weeks, I have had serious cravings for pumpkin bread, and all baked goods that are fall themed, start in full force. While everyone else is lining up for pumpkin spice lattes, I’m all about that pumpkin bread and spiced chai tea combination. This is not a new thing, it seems to happen every year. I’ve made pumpkin spice cupcakes, the standard pumpkin bread from a box, and we even tried a pumpkin pasta disaster this past week. My Paprika App is filled to the brim with alternative versions of both chai tea and pumpkin bread this year as I am making efforts to avoid sugar, processed foods, and so forth, however, I will admit to indulging in my original favorites now and again from Starbucks.

That Little Girl and I were recently sharing a slice of their Pumpkin Loaf and she was really going on about how much she enjoyed it. I let her know I had marked some recipes and super mama was totally going to make this a fun thing and make one of our favorite treats, but hey she didn’t need to know it was a healthier and organic version. More on how that turned out later, but at the time, she asked if I had made pumpkin bread before. My mom was along and well, I cannot tell a lie, so I let her know that yes, I had made pumpkin bread before. My mom and I got a serious case of the giggles tears rolling down our face and all recalling the story of That Girl’s Pumpkin Bread. So here it goes, my admission that my attempt years ago to make a healthier non-processed pumpkin bread was a complete failure.

That Guy and I were not yet married and I was up at his house for the weekend. I was loving the domestic life and feeling pretty high on the couple-dom situation we had going on. We had even carved pumpkins together, I mean it does not get any more Norman Rockwell than that in modern day mid-20’s dating. I should also note that it was the year there was a shortage of canned pumpkin puree, at least locally. I have no idea what the cause was, but I swear it happened. Trust me on that part, it is key to this story.

So pumpkin carving was done and so I decided I was going to make pumpkin bread. We had all the insides so it just made sense given the shortage. The house would smell awesome. A great treat for during the football game that afternoon. Do I really need to explain any more? Did you catch the issue yet? Off I go into the kitchen. I substitute the real stuff for the canned pumpkin and start mixing, something doesn’t seem quite right, but I don’t let it stop me! Oh no, I am rocking this! Few seeds aren’t super easy to get out so I leave them in. No biggie, right? I forge ahead, pick out what I can and move on. It will taste even better! That Guy had me set aside the pumpkin seeds I removed for toasting, any left over must just add character. If not, it’s only a few, I recall thinking.

When it came out of the oven, pumpkin seeds and stringy insides with bread baked around it really, I still hadn’t realized my problem. That Guy and I sat down to try it, didn’t taste quite right, but it wasn’t awful. Until That Guy finally said, “I guess I just don’t like pumpkin bread.” Nope, I still didn’t get it. His parents came over, his dad ate it and took some home. To this day, I think he was just trying to encourage me to cook and just being kind.

At some point, I told my mom and dad about how I made this bread and it just wasn’t right and I couldn’t figure it out. I kid you not, we put the bread out in the backyard the next day and even the animals didn’t touch it. My parents knew exactly my error and were not afraid to tell me. I had used the stringy insides, not the pumpkin flesh that would then have to be sauteed down and pureed to be the equivalent of what you can buy in the store. So yup, the great pumpkin bread failure story. I have stuck to the canned Libby’s that seems to be the go to pumpkin puree. Since telling That Little Girl the story, I have had to relive my failure at least a dozen times this week since she loves this new story to tease Mommy about.

It was time to redeem myself! So over the weekend, That Little Girl was just not in the toddler baking zone and I was not feeling great, but I went ahead anyway. I used a can of organic pureed pumpkin available at the store. The recipe I found called for almond flour, coconut oil, and raw honey and a few other things I have seen typically used in recipes.

This year’s first attempt at a new pumpkin bread recipe.

While it was not a complete failure, it just isn’t quite right. So we will be trying again at some point to find an alternative recipe that is a bit less processed than the tried and true. This one tastes fine, but has the texture of cornbread and it just does not get the job done. The more I think about it, the taste and the texture could be my own issues. This weekend all food tastes funny, which is new the last few days and had previously been a side effect I had been able to avoid for the most part. Or the whole thing could obviously be baker error given my history.