Speed Bump

I knew I would eventually have that moment or reason that would bring me back here to share with anyone who might still be reading. I have wanted to get back here and finish the story, but I certainly was not ready to add to the story. Not that I don’t worry about it everyday. Everywhere I go I hear about someone having their cancer come back, someone passing away from cancer, or a new diagnosis. I hear about a woman who could easily be me with two girls the same age but when she was diagnosed she was already very ill and she isn’t doing well. I’m reminded to be grateful. I try to stay focused on the positive. Let’s be honest, why wouldn’t I wonder if mine will come back or how I got to be so lucky to be healthy here and now?

Then I found a bump. And I told no one. At. All.

I waited. I monitored. It got bigger. Finally, I showed it to That Guy. Then I freaked.

Then since medical things come up on a Saturday afternoon, we relied on Dr. Google. Every two seconds I was having That Guy check it out.

Finally, I called my breast surgeon’s office Monday morning. That Guy and I weren’t sure who I should call to be seen. I decided to go with the most pro-active office on my team that seems to have the most fast track path in the door to a set of professional eye balls.

Let me pause here for a second. I LOVE my surgeon. She is legitimately bad ass and invested in her patients and so refreshingly honestly straightforward and a good person. 

I did my typical That Girl prep before I even called. So in addition to the typical information like name and birthdate, I was ready with my date of diagnosis, location of initial tumor, dates of surgery and last mammogram, and finally the last date I saw her so that they had all of that to reference plus what I found and where. Got a call back. All that information was pointless since the person calling had it all upside down and backward. Not a bit of it accurate. So not sure what to do with that. I mean, I get that she had to call back so none of it really mattered that I had left the details. My intention was to save a step so they could determine what to do before they called me.

Determination was that I should have a mammogram and ultrasound on my right side. My initial diagnosis was on my left side. Spent a day waiting for Breast Health Services to call me to set up my appointment. Took the first available at any location. Was told to expect a 90-120 minute appointment. Still freaking out.

Fast forward to one week later…

That Guy and I went to the hospital together. It was a super early appointment. That Guy is not a morning guy. We were hustling and then parking was confusing. I hopped out and ran into the hospital alone leaving him to find it on his own. On the way there I was practicing calming breaths and trying not to shake.

In my experience, when you go into the appointment with a known possible issue, you first meet with a nurse. She does a full breast exam after going over exactly what the problem is that brought you in. That nurse told me right away that while it was odd, it didn’t seem like a tumor. Somehow the ultrasound had not made it onto the prescription, but was necessary no matter the mammogram results. Luckily the surgeon’s office is really easy to deal with (their words, but again, love them!) so they fixed it up quickly. I went back to little ladie’s shawls only waiting room for my next call.

Then I went in for a mammogram. Since the lump was in my arm pit, they weren’t sure really what would be captured. That is what made the ultrasound really important. With two technicians working together, they did find the right angle and height to do that along with the standard views. They admired my (near lack of) surgery scars and let me know the doctor would read the images. Then shawl on and back out I go.

Finally it was time to do the ultrasound. Now, this is the only thing they did before telling me I had cancer back at the time of my initial diagnosis. Since I was pregnant, they didn’t do a mammogram. Well, they didn’t do a mammogram until they were certain I had cancer. But when they did the ultrasound I started crying and could see what was going on as it was being done. This time, I debated if I would look at the screen before I even went to the appointment. I started out not looking. It was uncomfortable to twist around since I had to lay on a wedge pillow under my side and the screen was on that side. The screen was not angled favorably. So about one minute in I was all about looking. I could just see a little of the screen if I twisted just right.

When the ultrasound technician left, she let me know the doctor would be reading the images and asked if I wanted my husband brought back. I kind of snickered and said I didn’t really need him to hear it was all nothing and I could definitely pass that along; however if there was anything else, I would need him there when the doctor came back.

How happy was I when the ultrasound technician and doctor came back in without That Guy! Not very Valentine’s Day romantic to say I was pretty happy not to see him!

So the end result is that it is in the dermatological layer and I need to see a dermatologist. I have that appointment scheduled already.

All good news!

And now you’ve heard all of that, let me tell you what else I want to share: Little Shawl Room Etiquette. Stay tuned!