Wacky Wednesday – The Night that Failed

Breast Cancer isn’t really very funny. Parenthood, however, I will admit can be really really funny. And I do try to laugh at myself as often as possible. When you combine That Girl, That Guy, and My Girls, you get a pretty Wacky life. When I was a child, probably when I was learning to read, one of my favorite books was “Wacky Wednesday” by Dr. Seuss. Since we constantly talk about how wacky my oldest is, some Wednesdays I will be sharing what I think are pretty Wacky stories, quotes, and silliness from our lives. Enjoy!

I think I’ve mentioned that I have lost my eyelashes and eyebrows at this point. I recently forgot to add my eyebrows on before going out for the day and pretty sure I was raising some eyebrows. I could not for the life of me figure out why one woman I met was asking so many questions and looking at me funny. I was all made up without eyelashes or eyebrows. Whoops! That Guy and I giggled about it when we got home since I didn’t notice until then. I had looked in the mirror but had sunglasses on and never even noticed.

A couple weeks ago, I decided with the holidays coming, I should grab some false eyelashes. I have some experience from dance recital days many years ago and figured it would be like riding a bike. That Guy and I also had a very low key date night, but I was getting out of the house, so I thought it would be the perfect time to try them on. First time was a charm and the eyelash was perfect on one eye. I battled with the other little sucker for about thirty minutes and had it on in all sorts of weird discombobulations before I finally ripped them both off and waved the white glue tipped toothpick. Guess what I also forgot to do, eyebrows… again. I remembered just as we were leaving the house. Of course, as happens anytime we have a chance to have some date time, I felt terrible. Like we considered staying home and letting me just go to bed while That Guy did house work terrible. We forged ahead though since babysitting nights are somewhat hard to come by.

So out we go, I’m not feeling good or feeling like I’m looking good or even like me. Some older couple literally sat at the table near us and stared at me for whatever reason. To them I say grow up (oh wait, you were older than my parents), but inside I was a little upset by it. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. That Guy had no idea who they could be, but I did check since it seems like we see nurses or medical people everywhere and there are a ton of them that I have met. He didn’t know them from work. The wife literally was whispering to the woman next to her and they were staring then she did the cover her mouth and whisper across the table to her husband and he turned around fully in his seat to look at me (us?). There was no paranoia on my side. Then we headed home after dinner. At least we will get  a good night’s sleep, right?

Well just as I fell asleep, I heard sirens. Hmmm, they are coming closer and sound really loud. Wonder if they are going to be coming this way. Whoa, they must be headed down the block. Look at those lights. They are flying…. right to the neighbor’s house. So we did our neighborly duty of checking it out. Me from the windows and That Guy going outside as a nagged husband does when he would rather just roll over and go back to sleep. Neighbor goes back in with the firefighters. Trucks start to leave. Lights on the street all get turned back off. That Guy and That Dog go out. She barks her fool head off. All the neighbor dogs join in. Then, finally, it seems like everyone can get to sleep.

About half an hour later, I hear the beep beep beep of a vehicle backing up. Now the gas company showed up and was at a different neighbor, but only for a couple minutes before they got back in the vehicle and moved on down the street. Beep Beep Beep. Still not the same house. Next thing I know, someone is knocking at our door. Gas company man wanted to know how our hot water heater was. Well, our’s is electric, That Guy informed him. So then That Guy pointed out where he should probably be, the original house with the fire trucks. So beep beep beep again, down the street they go. So then, I was waiting for the evacuation door knocking. Finally fell asleep.

Moral of the story, date nights are doomed. Sleep was not to be had. Babysitters be warned, we are considering asking for a raincheck policy for when our luck turns around.