People keep asking how I am doing right now. I’m hanging in there. I know that sounds silly and non-commital. Probably because it is. I have good days. I have bad days. I have sad days. I have tired days. Like any mom, there are hard days with the kids. Then there are really awesome days where everything just goes easy. Well, maybe not everything goes easy in one single day.
Danger Danger
December 15, 2014 10 Comments
That Little Girl has a little diddy she likes to sing. It goes something like this, “Danger! Danger! Choking Hazard. Choking Hazard. Danger! Danger! Choking Hazard. Choking Hazard….” It started a little bit after That Baby was born and there was a particular toy she wanted. We tried to explain all the small parts were dangerous to not just her but also her baby sister. We agreed to buy it if she kept it all out of her mouth, something we are still working on. So now she calls all similar toys, “choking hazard Tinkerbell” or “choking hazard such and such” when talking about them. Well, the next part of the story is about me and the day I felt like I was in danger and well, like someone was choking me. Don’t worry, they weren’t.
Sidestepping Side Effects – Brittle Nails
December 12, 2014 3 Comments
Both of the courses of chemotherapy I have had, Adriamycin and Cytoxan followed by Taxol, Herceptin, and Perjeta, have listed brittle nails as a side effect. It may have been the pregnancy nails hanging in there post partum for the first few months or maybe the now change to cooler dryer weather, but the T/H/P really has done a number on my nails. One thing I have found to help, is keeping them polished all the time. At one of the oncology appointments my doctor specifically asked about my nails. Some people have a really rough experience and lose nails, they discolor, and so on. So far, so good. I explained, yes they were a mess and broke very easily, but as long as I kept them polished they were fine. Even I had to smile, because really, tough life I have, right?! He snickered and said, “hey, whatever works!” This has also been a way for me to carve out some time to pamper myself and zone out on some guilty pleasure television (Real Housewives of Anyplace, anyone?).
Wacky Wednesday – The Night that Failed
December 10, 2014 Leave a Comment
Breast Cancer isn’t really very funny. Parenthood, however, I will admit can be really really funny. And I do try to laugh at myself as often as possible. When you combine That Girl, That Guy, and My Girls, you get a pretty Wacky life. When I was a child, probably when I was learning to read, one of my favorite books was “Wacky Wednesday” by Dr. Seuss. Since we constantly talk about how wacky my oldest is, some Wednesdays I will be sharing what I think are pretty Wacky stories, quotes, and silliness from our lives. Enjoy!
I think I’ve mentioned that I have lost my eyelashes and eyebrows at this point. I recently forgot to add my eyebrows on before going out for the day and pretty sure I was raising some eyebrows. I could not for the life of me figure out why one woman I met was asking so many questions and looking at me funny. I was all made up without eyelashes or eyebrows. Whoops! That Guy and I giggled about it when we got home since I didn’t notice until then. I had looked in the mirror but had sunglasses on and never even noticed.
Wrapping up with AC
December 8, 2014 1 Comment
So I had finally gotten to the last cycle of this first chemotherapy duo. I was still having these awful moments where I felt like someone was choking me. My chest was still turning purple. I was dizzy “more often out of nowhere” (a direct quote from the notebook I take to appointments). Another direct quote from my notebook, “When do we start worrying about this pressure in my neck?”
Third Time Was Not Such a Charm
December 5, 2014 2 Comments
Immediately prior to the third cycle, I started to have some new strange symptoms or side effects. For one, I was gaining weight, but the chemotherapy protocol I was on included a lot of steroids and fluids, plus I wasn’t hugely active. It wasn’t out of the question that this would be happening. Additionally, the chemotherapy caused photosensitivity so when my chest and face would appear red and blotchy, I reported it to the doctor, but there were explanations for that as well. The pressure in my neck was concerning, but they didn’t know what it could be. Over that weekend, just helping my daughter get dressed made me breathless and a purpley red coloring. Putting That Baby in the car carrier was extremely difficult since I was bending over even if I was kneeling. My puffy achey eyes were attributed to the chemotherapy. I was told that eye drops would help that, as would using my reading glasses more frequently. What concerned the doctor I saw that day the most was the sharp pain I had in my back/ribs area when I took a deep breath. There were reasonable explanations, playing with my daughter and her friend on a playground or just the Neulasta shot or a normal tweaked muscle. With a history of pulmonary embolisms, he felt that was the most concerning to him. Before I could be cleared for chemotherapy, I had to have a CT scan to check for pulmonary embolisms. That Guy had accompanied me to the doctor appointment, but he had to get to work. My chemo buddy friend for the day was able to shuffle her team to extend childcare and stay with me for the long haul. I’m telling you, it truly takes a village!
Ring That Bell!
December 2, 2014 10 Comments
So I just can’t wait to catch up to the present day to write this post! I received so much support on the Facebook page about this that I just had to do this now!
Take Two
November 30, 2014 3 Comments
Prior to each chemotherapy treatment during this cycle, I had to have my bloodwork done so it was ready for review at my oncologist appointment and I could be cleared to receive treatment. Now that we had gone through one cycle and weeks that followed and we had some time to gather more information as we had more answers, I went into that oncologist appointment with quite the list of questions. Keeping a notebook and a running list between appointments became my thing. A trademark if you will. I love it. I’m not so sure the doctors feel the same way, but I think they are understanding that it is just how I have to deal with things.
Chemo-versary Date
November 20, 2014 5 Comments
Over these couple of days before treatment started, I was starting to get super nervous. I mean, there is no shortage of horror stories to go around for what a friend of a friends cousin’s brother’s dog sitter’s grandma experienced while going through chemotherapy. What I’ve learned is that every experience is different. And there are so many drugs that fall into the chemotherapy description. And there are so many things they can do to prevent side effects. But before I learned all that, this couple of days break before treatment began was a flood of emotions, anxiety, and just trying to soak in family time while I still felt ok with the exception of the pain from the port being placed.
One Last Hoop
November 17, 2014 5 Comments
So the results were in and it was time to prepare for treatment. My treatment plan first called for A-C every three weeks for four cycles. The A is for adriamycin and the C is Cytoxan. After those four cycles, the plan called for four more three week cycles including Herceptin, Perjeta, and weekly Taxol. When they told me the plan, they had let me know that I would also need to have a port placed in my chest. I was freaked out by this for a number of reasons. I asked what other options there were. I was told there were not any. So it was really the last step to prepare to start chemo the next week to have it placed.
All About My Girls 