With my surgery coming up, there are a few lifestyle type changes I plan to make. Part of the surgery includes removal of lymph nodes. As a whole, it puts me at risk for lymphedema as a side effect. I am pretty certain no one wants lymphedema. At my pre-surgery appointment, they took measurements of the fluid in my body again. The first measurement was when I was still pregnant when we met with the surgeon before we even knew the pathology of my cancer. After surgery, I will be measured again from what I understand and Physical Therapy has taken physical circumference measurements of my arms.
Wrapping up with AC
December 8, 2014 1 Comment
So I had finally gotten to the last cycle of this first chemotherapy duo. I was still having these awful moments where I felt like someone was choking me. My chest was still turning purple. I was dizzy “more often out of nowhere” (a direct quote from the notebook I take to appointments). Another direct quote from my notebook, “When do we start worrying about this pressure in my neck?”
Third Time Was Not Such a Charm
December 5, 2014 2 Comments
Immediately prior to the third cycle, I started to have some new strange symptoms or side effects. For one, I was gaining weight, but the chemotherapy protocol I was on included a lot of steroids and fluids, plus I wasn’t hugely active. It wasn’t out of the question that this would be happening. Additionally, the chemotherapy caused photosensitivity so when my chest and face would appear red and blotchy, I reported it to the doctor, but there were explanations for that as well. The pressure in my neck was concerning, but they didn’t know what it could be. Over that weekend, just helping my daughter get dressed made me breathless and a purpley red coloring. Putting That Baby in the car carrier was extremely difficult since I was bending over even if I was kneeling. My puffy achey eyes were attributed to the chemotherapy. I was told that eye drops would help that, as would using my reading glasses more frequently. What concerned the doctor I saw that day the most was the sharp pain I had in my back/ribs area when I took a deep breath. There were reasonable explanations, playing with my daughter and her friend on a playground or just the Neulasta shot or a normal tweaked muscle. With a history of pulmonary embolisms, he felt that was the most concerning to him. Before I could be cleared for chemotherapy, I had to have a CT scan to check for pulmonary embolisms. That Guy had accompanied me to the doctor appointment, but he had to get to work. My chemo buddy friend for the day was able to shuffle her team to extend childcare and stay with me for the long haul. I’m telling you, it truly takes a village!
The First Two Weeks Between
November 28, 2014 5 Comments
My particular experience for this chemotherapy protocol gave me two weeks “off” to rest up and have somewhat of a normal life in between treatment weeks. That is not what they are intended for, but after the first treatment, I was feeling fairly normal for these weeks after the first week. That would change as the summer went on. That is not to say I didn’t spend a significant amount of time during these weeks at the doctor’s office or dealing with cancer related things in addition to having a newborn. It just means, I didn’t spend them feeling entirely terrible all day long everyday and laying around the house unable to do much of anything trying to keep my food down.
One Last Hoop
November 17, 2014 5 Comments
So the results were in and it was time to prepare for treatment. My treatment plan first called for A-C every three weeks for four cycles. The A is for adriamycin and the C is Cytoxan. After those four cycles, the plan called for four more three week cycles including Herceptin, Perjeta, and weekly Taxol. When they told me the plan, they had let me know that I would also need to have a port placed in my chest. I was freaked out by this for a number of reasons. I asked what other options there were. I was told there were not any. So it was really the last step to prepare to start chemo the next week to have it placed.
That Morning
November 13, 2014 1 Comment
So I did not get much sleep waiting for the scan results, but I was the mom of a newborn, so it was really just part of life just not the normal cause. The next morning, I had a hard time. And that is putting it very lightly. There was A LOT of the ugly cry happening.
Hold your baby, Hold your breath
November 10, 2014 2 Comments
It was very surreal to be home just the three of us at first after really just spending her first day in the hospital. We were able to get unpacked and settled in before my inlaws delivered our dog and stayed to cut our grass and a bit later my parents brought home That Little Girl following her ceremony at preschool. I remember just sitting in our chair holding That Baby and both of us falling asleep before the reality of being home really set it. There is so much I don’t remember about those first few days. Some of that is likely attributed to the normal mom of a newborn haze of constantly nursing, pumping, little naps, and lots of laundry. I felt a little like I was on the outside of my life looking in and trying to remind myself to be present. Knowing I need to really take it all in and enjoy, since this is the last newborn we are going to have. I was always wondering how long I will be here to know her and her to know me.
Path and Personality
October 3, 2014 2 Comments
Read What Happened Next to see how we got here
So what does one do when waiting? You go on, but barely. You get your kid dressed. You get dressed. You try to eat so that your baby grows. You go to work. You hug your husband. You hug your daughter. You cry when people ask what is going on. No one believes it is going to be bad. They all think you are exaggerating and dramatic. No one can understand how they can be so sure without results. But you saw the faces. You will never forget those faces. You hide so that you don’t have to tell anyone. [Read more…]
What happened next
October 2, 2014 5 Comments
In case you forgot where I left off start here
On Monday morning, the clock was too slow to make it to eight. Finally, I could call. I was lucky to get in the very next day. During the test, I just knew. I cried. I cried alone as the tech did what she needed to do. It felt like forever. And I just kept crying. My husband was sitting in the waiting room for me. After she finished, she didn’t have me get dressed, just told me to go into another room and my husband would be there. “Someone will be in”, she said. [Read more…]
All About My Girls 