So I had finally gotten to the last cycle of this first chemotherapy duo. I was still having these awful moments where I felt like someone was choking me. My chest was still turning purple. I was dizzy “more often out of nowhere” (a direct quote from the notebook I take to appointments). Another direct quote from my notebook, “When do we start worrying about this pressure in my neck?”
Third Time Was Not Such a Charm
December 5, 2014 2 Comments
Immediately prior to the third cycle, I started to have some new strange symptoms or side effects. For one, I was gaining weight, but the chemotherapy protocol I was on included a lot of steroids and fluids, plus I wasn’t hugely active. It wasn’t out of the question that this would be happening. Additionally, the chemotherapy caused photosensitivity so when my chest and face would appear red and blotchy, I reported it to the doctor, but there were explanations for that as well. The pressure in my neck was concerning, but they didn’t know what it could be. Over that weekend, just helping my daughter get dressed made me breathless and a purpley red coloring. Putting That Baby in the car carrier was extremely difficult since I was bending over even if I was kneeling. My puffy achey eyes were attributed to the chemotherapy. I was told that eye drops would help that, as would using my reading glasses more frequently. What concerned the doctor I saw that day the most was the sharp pain I had in my back/ribs area when I took a deep breath. There were reasonable explanations, playing with my daughter and her friend on a playground or just the Neulasta shot or a normal tweaked muscle. With a history of pulmonary embolisms, he felt that was the most concerning to him. Before I could be cleared for chemotherapy, I had to have a CT scan to check for pulmonary embolisms. That Guy had accompanied me to the doctor appointment, but he had to get to work. My chemo buddy friend for the day was able to shuffle her team to extend childcare and stay with me for the long haul. I’m telling you, it truly takes a village!
Take Two
November 30, 2014 3 Comments
Prior to each chemotherapy treatment during this cycle, I had to have my bloodwork done so it was ready for review at my oncologist appointment and I could be cleared to receive treatment. Now that we had gone through one cycle and weeks that followed and we had some time to gather more information as we had more answers, I went into that oncologist appointment with quite the list of questions. Keeping a notebook and a running list between appointments became my thing. A trademark if you will. I love it. I’m not so sure the doctors feel the same way, but I think they are understanding that it is just how I have to deal with things.
The First Two Weeks Between
November 28, 2014 5 Comments
My particular experience for this chemotherapy protocol gave me two weeks “off” to rest up and have somewhat of a normal life in between treatment weeks. That is not what they are intended for, but after the first treatment, I was feeling fairly normal for these weeks after the first week. That would change as the summer went on. That is not to say I didn’t spend a significant amount of time during these weeks at the doctor’s office or dealing with cancer related things in addition to having a newborn. It just means, I didn’t spend them feeling entirely terrible all day long everyday and laying around the house unable to do much of anything trying to keep my food down.
Chemo-versary Date
November 20, 2014 5 Comments
Over these couple of days before treatment started, I was starting to get super nervous. I mean, there is no shortage of horror stories to go around for what a friend of a friends cousin’s brother’s dog sitter’s grandma experienced while going through chemotherapy. What I’ve learned is that every experience is different. And there are so many drugs that fall into the chemotherapy description. And there are so many things they can do to prevent side effects. But before I learned all that, this couple of days break before treatment began was a flood of emotions, anxiety, and just trying to soak in family time while I still felt ok with the exception of the pain from the port being placed.
Bookshelf – Breast Book
November 19, 2014 Leave a Comment
The pediatricians in the practice we use have been a great support to our family during this time. The doctor we see most frequently went so far as to call to check on our family immediately after my diagnosis. She also told me to immediately start reading “Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book” (you can purchase a copy here). I told you she was put in my path for a reason! She was even my pediatrician many years ago.
One Last Hoop
November 17, 2014 5 Comments
So the results were in and it was time to prepare for treatment. My treatment plan first called for A-C every three weeks for four cycles. The A is for adriamycin and the C is Cytoxan. After those four cycles, the plan called for four more three week cycles including Herceptin, Perjeta, and weekly Taxol. When they told me the plan, they had let me know that I would also need to have a port placed in my chest. I was freaked out by this for a number of reasons. I asked what other options there were. I was told there were not any. So it was really the last step to prepare to start chemo the next week to have it placed.
That Morning
November 13, 2014 1 Comment
So I did not get much sleep waiting for the scan results, but I was the mom of a newborn, so it was really just part of life just not the normal cause. The next morning, I had a hard time. And that is putting it very lightly. There was A LOT of the ugly cry happening.
Hold your baby, Hold your breath
November 10, 2014 2 Comments
It was very surreal to be home just the three of us at first after really just spending her first day in the hospital. We were able to get unpacked and settled in before my inlaws delivered our dog and stayed to cut our grass and a bit later my parents brought home That Little Girl following her ceremony at preschool. I remember just sitting in our chair holding That Baby and both of us falling asleep before the reality of being home really set it. There is so much I don’t remember about those first few days. Some of that is likely attributed to the normal mom of a newborn haze of constantly nursing, pumping, little naps, and lots of laundry. I felt a little like I was on the outside of my life looking in and trying to remind myself to be present. Knowing I need to really take it all in and enjoy, since this is the last newborn we are going to have. I was always wondering how long I will be here to know her and her to know me.
Wacky Wednesday – Germaphobia!
November 5, 2014 1 Comment
Since this blog sat on my to do list for a while as I was busy living this life and journey, I’ve started out writing about the past. Most of it is pretty ugly. Breast Cancer isn’t really very funny. Parenthood, however, I will admit can be really really funny. And I do try to laugh at myself as often as possible. When you combine That Girl, That Guy, and My Girls, you get a pretty Wacky life. When I was a child, probably when I was learning to read, one of my favorite books was “Wacky Wednesday” by Dr. Seuss. Since we constantly talk about how wacky my oldest is, my Wednesday posts will be sharing what I think are pretty Wacky stories, quotes, and silliness from our lives. Enjoy!
Prior to my first chemotherapy infusion, I had met with someone in the oncologist’s office. I was pretty nervous about the whole thing as it was brand new to me and I had no idea what to expect. Friends had told me stories about their friends and family and some of the pictures they painted were really awful. So there I sit, telling her how nervous I am and she is going on about how my blood levels may dip so low that I won’t be able to leave the house for the next six months and if I do I will have to wear a mask and so on. I was not expecting to feel well enough to go do anything significant, but I was not expecting full on house arrest, either. I was not feeling any more relaxed about what to expect when I left to get my infusion that afternoon.
All About My Girls 