A story of motherhood, love, life, and breast cancer
This has been a hard year for our little family. I really feel like saying so does a disservice to That Baby’s birth and I truly hate that we all feel that way. Some day she will understand why 2014 is not going to be a year that goes down as one of the best for this family. She was truly the best thing that happened to us this year. So for that reason alone, it is important to focus on all that I have to be thankful for this year.
Box of Sunshine!
The day after my first A-C chemo treatment, Day 2, I woke up feeling fairly normal. This was as expected I think. I was careful not to kiss my family on the lips. I was using my own bathroom. I was drinking plenty of water. I was careful to take the prescribed medications exactly how and when they were prescribed to avoid side effects.
Over these couple of days before treatment started, I was starting to get super nervous. I mean, there is no shortage of horror stories to go around for what a friend of a friends cousin’s brother’s dog sitter’s grandma experienced while going through chemotherapy. What I’ve learned is that every experience is different. And there are so many drugs that fall into the chemotherapy description. And there are so many things they can do to prevent side effects. But before I learned all that, this couple of days break before treatment began was a flood of emotions, anxiety, and just trying to soak in family time while I still felt ok with the exception of the pain from the port being placed.
So the results were in and it was time to prepare for treatment. My treatment plan first called for A-C every three weeks for four cycles. The A is for adriamycin and the C is Cytoxan. After those four cycles, the plan called for four more three week cycles including Herceptin, Perjeta, and weekly Taxol. When they told me the plan, they had let me know that I would also need to have a port placed in my chest. I was freaked out by this for a number of reasons. I asked what other options there were. I was told there were not any. So it was really the last step to prepare to start chemo the next week to have it placed.
Picked up my new wig yesterday! So this is the scene in our bedroom now.
So I did not get much sleep waiting for the scan results, but I was the mom of a newborn, so it was really just part of life just not the normal cause. The next morning, I had a hard time. And that is putting it very lightly. There was A LOT of the ugly cry happening.
Since this blog sat on my to do list for a while as I was busy living this life and journey, I’ve started out writing about the past. Most of it is pretty ugly. Breast Cancer isn’t really very funny. Parenthood, however, I will admit can be really really funny. And I do try to laugh at myself as often as possible. When you combine That Girl, That Guy, and My Girls, you get a pretty Wacky life. When I was a child, probably when I was learning to read, one of my favorite books was “Wacky Wednesday” by Dr. Seuss. Since we constantly talk about how wacky my oldest is, my Wednesday posts will be sharing what I think are pretty Wacky stories, quotes, and silliness from our lives. Enjoy!
We had a pretty jam packed day recently. It seems That Little Girl may have inherited my mother and I’s tendency to start getting really silly when she starts to get tired. By late afternoon, she was really getting crazy. These are just a couple of quotes from about a thirty minute span that afternoon. To know her is to love her and if you do know her you will understand just how she delivered these and it will probably be funnier for those of you who know us in real life. I apologize to the rest of you.
It was very surreal to be home just the three of us at first after really just spending her first day in the hospital. We were able to get unpacked and settled in before my inlaws delivered our dog and stayed to cut our grass and a bit later my parents brought home That Little Girl following her ceremony at preschool. I remember just sitting in our chair holding That Baby and both of us falling asleep before the reality of being home really set it. There is so much I don’t remember about those first few days. Some of that is likely attributed to the normal mom of a newborn haze of constantly nursing, pumping, little naps, and lots of laundry. I felt a little like I was on the outside of my life looking in and trying to remind myself to be present. Knowing I need to really take it all in and enjoy, since this is the last newborn we are going to have. I was always wondering how long I will be here to know her and her to know me.
A few days ago I was finally able to get to that Gentle Yoga class I had mentioned after attending my one and only meditation class so far. What prevented me from just going back the very next time either gentle yoga or mediation was offered you ask? Good questions. Well, sometimes, I just feel really cruddy. Sometimes the kids get sick and having two of us here is a priority or just getting everyone settled in for the night as early as possible wins out. I was hoping to be able to go with a friend and lots of people are busy this time of year. It is especially difficult because this particular class tends to be at dinner time. So having the opening to go, align with someone else having that opening, and everything that needs to happen at the one hour that the Gentle Yoga class is offered is kind of a crap shoot. Finally though, I was able to make it all work as was a friend.
So, I do not think I would be stretching the truth to say that I have no idea how I would have gotten this far without the amazing support system I have. That Guy has taken on even more of the parental and household duties in many ways, even though I am home with the girls during this time. That Guy has been with me at as many appointments as he is able, while still working. And somehow he does it all without really ever letting me feel like I am a downer to what should be a really amazing time in both of our lives, having just welcomed our second baby into our family. That Guy has a unique perspective to this path we are on. Lucky for you, he is open to contributing to the blog, as well.
So tell us, what should he share?
If there is something you would like to read, that we haven’t thought of, please let us know!
All About My Girls 