Wacky Wednesday – Nip One, Purl Two

Breast Cancer isn’t really very funny. Parenthood, however, I will admit can be really really funny. And I do try to laugh at myself as often as possible. When you combine That Girl, That Guy, and My Girls, you get a pretty Wacky life. When I was a child, probably when I was learning to read, one of my favorite books was “Wacky Wednesday” by Dr. Seuss. Since we constantly talk about how wacky my oldest is, some Wednesdays I will be sharing what I think are pretty Wacky stories, quotes, and silliness from our lives. Enjoy!

I have debated sharing this story, because I should be mortified. At this point though, I’m fairly certain the number of people who have seen “my girls” (not my daughters, the other ones) is in a range that requires a comma to keep count. Basically, I am not mortified by it. Embarrassed I’m so oblivious, but not embarrassed by what others saw. And if you are related to me (cough, dad, cough) you might want to just skip this one. So here it goes…

I recently went for my set up type appointment for radiation. They showed me where the changing room was as well as where to find the gowns. The gowns are special in that they do not have any ties and you put your arms in like a jacket. The typical hospital gown kind of criss crosses to cover your chest when they open in front. These do not. The right arm goes into the sleeve and there isn’t much covering your chest, but then there is an extra part extending from your left arm that goes back over to cover your chest and your right arm goes through. This extension that crosses over has no sleeve. Picture a tank top, for one arm on this cross over part. As soon as I saw this thing, I knew it was trouble. So I was super aware the first appointment that day. Then I had to wait until they got my set up all ready for my actual treatment appointment. Somehow in that week and a few days I forgot to be afraid of that trouble making blue gown contraption.

So that brings us to my first day of radiation treatment. Get my mom and the girls settled to wait for me. Into the changing room I go after checking in. I put the contraption gown on, very carefully and double checked myself in the mirror. Put my clothes in the locker. Grabbed my purse. Off I went to the treatment waiting room. When I arrived, there was only one other woman waiting. She was very pleasant and we talked about it being my first day and how she was completing her treatment that week. I had grabbed my knitting out of my bag and was working on a hat for That Baby Girl. My sweet bubbly nurse came by and checked out my hat. Knitting away, we all talked about it and how and why I started knitting. She showed me her one and only crochet project. Knit, knit knit. Suddenly the room really started to fill up. A few gentlemen came in and took a seat to my right. Then another woman came in. Everybody seemed to get called back. Everybody but me. There I sat. Knit, knit, knit. There was one very quiet woman sitting a couple seats to my right. Knit, knit, knit. Check my phone since I feel like I have been there forever. Hmmm, knitting is getting boring, sucked into the phone.

As I looked down, I suddenly realized I was, ahem, exposed on the right side. I can only say I stared down, completely shocked, and thought, “Where the heck did you come from?!”. Seriously. Then I tried to nonchalantly close the gap the contraption gown had opened up. I can only guess that somehow in my reaching into my bag, or knitting, I slipped a nip. So I feel like the timing is a tribute to the Janet Jackson and JT halftime show at the Super Bowl maybe? Or maybe it was just a big loosen up, That Girl, wake up call, because it was bound to happen and now I got that out of the way? Super.

Somehow I immediately decided to embrace it, since it was bound to get out (see what I did there?) and text my nearest and dearest. Mom responded with confusion about why the big deal, not understanding that I was in a waiting room with other patients. That Guy replied that he thought I had to bear it all and was confused thinking it happened once in treatment with the nurses and doctors. And my dear friend responded that it must be a good thing and was unfamiliar with the term nip slip. The other patients must have been hoping I was knitting a shawl or cover up!

So now I have nothing to fear! They all know me as “That Girl”. No introduction necessary.

Fast forward

Ahhhh, spoke to the radiation oncologist and nurse since this first day. I’m not special, they assured me. Happens all the time they say. They said they are frequently giving people the nudge to fix themselves. I even tried a gown from the higher shelf thinking it was a larger size. Nope. All the “same size” the doctor and nurse tell me, but within that “same size” there is variation.