Finishing up Chemo

As we headed into the holidays, my stomach was going crazy and things were just not smooth. These weekly chemo treatments were a bit annoying to be honest. I did much better mentally with the every three week regiment. Finding friends to go along was getting a little more difficult as well. Luckily, I had someone each time. My mind was racing pretty much all the time. Here I was, nearing the end of chemo, and I really didn’t know if it was working. I wanted to know, but was terrified to find out when I had my surgery.

About this time I heard about a clinical trial for a vaccine. My oncologist heard about it as well. He promised to look into the options and if I would qualify. I was begging for a mammogram or ultrasound to get a look at what was going on with the original tumor. No such luck! This still blows my mind. I was fortunate that the tumor was no longer able to be felt after just one round of chemotherapy, but with my breasts changing so much after pregnancy and nursing, I wasn’t convinced that we could say for certain this was attributable to the chemotherapy.

I had some strange things going on that the oncologists all attributed to side effects. Many centered around my head which was unnerving to say the least. I had pain near my ear, a dull ache in the upper back of my head, aches in the crown, pain in my ear, and my eye twitched. The aches, it turns out, were very much the chemotherapy. I believe it was Taxol that was causing bone pain and there are a lot of bones in your skull so that just happened to be where my pain was.

As I finished up this phase, I had a lot of questions about what was going to happen afterward. How often will I see the doctor? When do I start Tamoxifen? Can I drink wine when I’m feeling up to it again? Do I need to be on a shot to induce menopause? When will this icky feeling end? Is it expected that I should still be flushing as a result of the SVC? Oh, and how about that mammogram? And when do I ring the chemo bell (since I still have Herception to finish)? What about this crazy stomach thing? And I have this weird ache is my breast and armpit. When do I get concerned? Anxiety much?

It wasn’t all misery, though. I was rocking my new wig! That Baby was starting to make Da-Da sounds. Everyone knows Mama is chopped liver.

I was trying a new online support site. At the time, I just couldn’t handle it. Sadly, there were a lot of posts about people passing away. Or finding out really awful things. They were there for support. I just couldn’t cut it. I would spend all the next few days after a visit to the site wondering if or when or why or who and get myself all worked up.

Then finally… finally… finally… it was time for my last chemo infusion. My Mom and That Guy went with me. My Dad brought my girls over at the end with flowers and balloons.


  1. […] well, now this post is actually about me Thirteen Lucky Months ago. I left off talking about the day of my last chemo and how I was feeling going into […]


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