As we headed into the holidays, my stomach was going crazy and things were just not smooth. These weekly chemo treatments were a bit annoying to be honest. I did much better mentally with the every three week regiment. Finding friends to go along was getting a little more difficult as well. Luckily, I had someone each time. My mind was racing pretty much all the time. Here I was, nearing the end of chemo, and I really didn’t know if it was working. I wanted to know, but was terrified to find out when I had my surgery.
Full Circle Weekend
June 30, 2015 Leave a Comment
When I started this blog, I wanted to find a way to help others, put out there how appreciative I am of those who have been there and helped my family, and record the entire experience for my girls. I started writing when I was already a good bit into the treatments, but I still had a long way to go. We did not know how the chemotherapy was working, I hadn’t had surgery yet, and I still had radiation to do. And that was just the physical parts. In the past few days, I feel like I have had a lot of my original intention presented to me right under my nose. [Read more…]
Then Everything Went to Crap
June 19, 2015 4 Comments
(I just couldn’t resist some potty humor. I apologize!)
When I last posted about my experience going through treatment for breast cancer, I hinted that my stomach was starting to be an issue. As I said, we were going into a lot of celebratory events and I was pretty much in a pattern of knowing when I needed to be, shall we say, close to home.
Lesson Learned… Again
May 29, 2015 Leave a Comment
My long term treatment plan has been up in the air. There are constantly new studies released and every nuance makes a difference for what determines each person’s set plan. Literally for the last five months the plan that they said was the absolute best a year ago, was now up in the air and open for interpretation and discussion, oh so much discussion!
One Year
May 22, 2015 Leave a Comment
One really fast yet never ending all at once horrible yet uplifting while surrounded my love and support and definitely insightful year where I learned a lot about myself. One year ago, I was told it would be one really horrible year, but I would get through it. It was horrible, and it was so many other things at the same time. She was right. I got through it. We lost one before he even knew it had started and gained one right behind that when she was born into the crazy only to be the most peaceful of us all. One really crazy year. My thoughts approaching this day are a jumbled overwhelming combination of gratitude, sadness, disbelief, anger, love, frustration, pride and so many things I am working to identify. I don’t even know what to call the day. I have heard cancer-versary, life day, and just THE day. I’ve just been calling it the one year since official diagnosis day since they really told me at the ultrasound/biopsy anyway two days prior.
At some point I will share how we mark this milestone. There is not going to be a party as was suggested at the start of all this. Seems weird to throw a party to celebrate myself, ha! Keeping my girls and the rest of my family close to my side and doing a few of my favorite things. Hopefully they hug me a lot and my girls give me lots of snuggles.
Do Your Job
May 19, 2015 Leave a Comment
As anyone who has dealt with their own or a loved ones medical emergency can attest to, sometimes you feel like your job is to make sure other people do their job. There were days I seriously just wanted to scream DO YOUR JOB so I didn’t have to. I have said that I was provided a nurse navigator through my health network system. There were times I could not imagine navigating this process without her. Once the process kept going, she was sort of a last resort to get done what I needed to when I was not able to get things moving. If you don’t have a navigator, as most people do not even though they are becoming more prominent in this sort of setting, it all falls on you and can be even more frustrating. This is where having a notebook, a planner, and a support system buddy at your appointments can really be helpful. You will need to be your own advocate and push people to get done what you need to in whatever time frame is necessary in your situation.
Slightly Less Than Smooth Sailing
May 7, 2015 3 Comments
About half way through the Taxol, Perjeta, and Herceptin routine, things started to go slightly less than smoothly. I had some issues with my stomach, a rash, and I was getting more tired each time. Unlike the first set of drugs, these were hitting me each and every week with no time to bounce back. Good for getting the job done I suppose, but not so good for rest and relaxation. And to top it off, we were heading into the holidays. Overall, though, not too bad compared to what I hear from other patients’ experiences.
Say Anything
April 30, 2015 Leave a Comment
So, I’ve been trying to figure out how to write a post about what to say to or how to support someone who is going through cancer, or any medical crisis really. Every time I try to write it, it comes off as really mean and ungrateful. That Guy is blunt about this. There really isn’t a nice way to give specific examples of things said or people who have disappointed me without potentially hurting someone’s feelings or sounding like one of those annoying vague Facebook posts. That is not my intention.
I’m Wigged Out
April 9, 2015 Leave a Comment
In the last month, through a series of events and slightly warmer weather, I have been leaving the house wig and hat free, much more often. I have gone to medical appointments without anything, which I think I mentioned. Since the SVC Syndrome “incident” I started going to appointments without, since some people theorized that my make-up and wig actually prohibited the doctors from seeing my changing coloring, puffiness, etc. And really, sometimes it is just much more comfortable to not have a wig and hair in my face. I can’t do a ponytail so going bare headed or a warm fuzzy cap in the winter was my next best option.
Now that my hair is coming back I am trying to figure out when I’m comfortable enough that this wig stuff can go. I’m also having all sorts of dreams about my hair. One night I had a dream it literally grew back overnight. That was a disappointing wake up call! Another night, I had a dream this short stuff was falling out again. I am happy to say I have given it a little tug and fortunately it was just a dream. So I guess now that a lot of the “big” stuff is settling down, my brain is having time to worry about the more superficial aspects of what my body has been through as a result of having breast cancer.
Like the Energizer Bunny
March 27, 2015 Leave a Comment
So I left off as I was going into my third week of this chemotherapy regimen. This meant that it was a Taxol only week. My dad was my buddy this week for my treatment. I think it was the first he went with me. Week four was a three drug week and That Guy went with me and of course I fell asleep as I did every single time he went with me. Week five was back to one drug and a friend was able to go with me, and it was the first I was able to get an infusion without having to see a doctor before hand. My week six treatment was the first my mom was able to go with me. So we all just kept going and going and getting me through this. By the end of the sixth week I would be half done with the second group of chemotherapy drugs. Oh and you know, I started this blog at this point in my story.
All About My Girls 