And Now We Rest
One Year
One really fast yet never ending all at once horrible yet uplifting while surrounded my love and support and definitely insightful year where I learned a lot about myself. One year ago, I was told it would be one really horrible year, but I would get through it. It was horrible, and it was so many other things at the same time. She was right. I got through it. We lost one before he even knew it had started and gained one right behind that when she was born into the crazy only to be the most peaceful of us all. One really crazy year. My thoughts approaching this day are a jumbled overwhelming combination of gratitude, sadness, disbelief, anger, love, frustration, pride and so many things I am working to identify. I don’t even know what to call the day. I have heard cancer-versary, life day, and just THE day. I’ve just been calling it the one year since official diagnosis day since they really told me at the ultrasound/biopsy anyway two days prior.
At some point I will share how we mark this milestone. There is not going to be a party as was suggested at the start of all this. Seems weird to throw a party to celebrate myself, ha! Keeping my girls and the rest of my family close to my side and doing a few of my favorite things. Hopefully they hug me a lot and my girls give me lots of snuggles.
Wacky Wednesday – Inside Jokers
Breast Cancer isn’t really very funny. Parenthood, however, I will admit can be really really funny. And I do try to laugh at myself as often as possible. When you combine That Girl, That Guy, and My Girls, you get a pretty Wacky life. When I was a child, probably when I was learning to read, one of my favorite books was “Wacky Wednesday” by Dr. Seuss. Since we constantly talk about how wacky my oldest is, some Wednesdays I will be sharing what I think are pretty Wacky stories, quotes, and silliness from our lives. Enjoy!
Now that things are going better and I am more physically able, That Little Girl and I spend some time together just us. We try to do a couple hours each weekend, but we don’t always have it. We just do our best to line it up with That Baby’s nap so that That Guy can be doing something here at the house as well. Needless to say, it takes some coordination to make sure we hti all those goals. I am happy to say it has been really good for our relationship getting back to “the old days” as she likes to call it.
Say Anything
So, I’ve been trying to figure out how to write a post about what to say to or how to support someone who is going through cancer, or any medical crisis really. Every time I try to write it, it comes off as really mean and ungrateful. That Guy is blunt about this. There really isn’t a nice way to give specific examples of things said or people who have disappointed me without potentially hurting someone’s feelings or sounding like one of those annoying vague Facebook posts. That is not my intention.
Wacky Wednesday – Frankly My Dear
Since this blog sat on my to do list for a while as I was busy living this life and journey, I’ve started out writing about the past. Most of it is pretty ugly. Breast Cancer isn’t really very funny. Parenthood, however, I will admit can be really really funny. And I do try to laugh at myself as often as possible. When you combine That Girl, That Guy, and My Girls, you get a pretty Wacky life. When I was a child, probably when I was learning to read, one of my favorite books was “Wacky Wednesday” by Dr. Seuss. Since we constantly talk about how wacky my oldest is, my Wednesday posts will be sharing what I think are pretty Wacky stories, quotes, and silliness from our lives. Enjoy!
That Family had a busy evening recently. One of those nights when, after a busy day with work, doctor appointments, errands, school, and swim lessons, My Girls and I run in the door as That Guy is running out. With baths out of the way before he left, I only had dinner and bedtime before I could eat dinner myself and get some things done.
Rainbow Crazy – Crafting Activities
Rainbow Crazy – Party Overview
I blurred out That Little Girl’s name, but you get the idea!
So I think I threw it out there that we recently celebrated That Little Girl’s birthday. After a lot of discussion, she chose to have a very small rainbow party with a few friends here at the house. In the past, I have really gone a little crazy with decorations and searched all over pinterest for the perfect this and the ideal that. This year, not so much. Maybe it is a new perspective. Maybe it is exhaustion. Maybe it is having two kids now. Maybe it is lack of money since I haven’t been working. Maybe it is all of the above. In any case, I decided to do a few things and be done. I was determined not to make myself crazy. I might have been a little crazy, but it was a good thing. I didn’t venture into bad crazy. [Read more…]
One Week at a Time
After the first day of my second treatment regimen, I was kind of expecting a restful boring few weeks ahead. I was not able to be left alone, drive, or take care of my kids independently so it made sense to expect someone to be here and be able to take it easy. I was also kind of itching to do things and so it was a difficult balance. It was a quest to get back to normal and feel productive, but also take it very easy. No problem, right?
Sidestepping Side Effects – The Ones No One Discusses Part 1
So there are obvious side effects, like hair loss, that everyone knows about and thinks about when they contemplate what a cancer patient goes through. Then there is all this stuff people just do not like to talk about. Or it seems like at least talking about it is finally starting. For example, loss of independence, financial stress, loss of control, depression, anxiety, and lost time doing activities you enjoy to keep yourself emotionally healthy. I feel like I have done a good job pretending these don’t affect me, but they do. That Guy and my mom see it the most, followed closely by That Little Girl. It’s awful. And that is coming from someone who tries really hard to just suck it up and get through this.
Months ago a childhood friend and fellow cancer survivor and I were talking about how exactly it feels. There are not many cancer patients in my demographic when I go in to the doctor’s offices. Being diagnosed while pregnant is another special thing. Even having little ones at home makes me somewhat of an oddity when talking to the care team. Dealing with any or all of our own special circumstances changes how we cope as a family and patient. It is a rather lonely feeling no matter how many people we have loving and caring for us as a family, in the end it is all in me and on me.
[Read more…]
Not So Fast
It seems like since Christmas things have really been going very fast. So many things have happened in our little family! We started off the year with the good news of my surgery results, but the doctor appointments did not stop for me. I still have the Herceptin infusions every few weeks, I had a post-surgical issue that required a follow up appointment, there was an appointment to meet the radiation oncologist and another to get me set up for radiation, then starting radiation daily, physical therapy, follow up dermatology appointment from the rash I had, and other non-cancer related appointments. Add in appointments for the rest of the family and you can imagine why we include our doctors on our Christmas card list!
All About My Girls 